don't ask me if i'm ok. i will just remain silent.

if yesterday was one of the best night ever, tonight must be one of the worst. Got a major disappointment, but the worst point of the night is a failed chat with dad.

I wanted to have chat with him, but he felt his show was more important and hurried up and left the conversation we had about me trying to ask him important stuff. I don't open up everyday, but when i need advise I really hope the television show doesn't win me in terms of importance. He has no idea why i'm upset and so he's getting upset with me for being upset and ignoring him. o. the irony.

Don't ever talk down to me. i don't like it. especially with people close to me, it'll be just a big turn off. 


i turn on the shower just let myself sit there for the longest time bawling. the amount of water i wasted. sorry. but its the only thing which calms me down.

he probably wondered where i was after the show ended. not that i don't love my dad or he don't love me, if it comes across anyway in this way, its not true. i love him alot and such does he, he is a good dad. But just sometimes, its really hard to communicate well, i wish sometimes the feeling to naturally communicate as with a friend comes easily....is this what they call generation gap in communication. and to think i majored in communication. #fail.


i guess as known i didn't make it to be the 'cream of the crop' i guess. very disappointed, 4 weeks of waiting, but the game's all fair i guess.when they were young they say all you have to do was strive hard and you'll get it. i guess, maybe not everything.

let me just be upset for a lil bit. don't worry. i'll pick up the pieces and good as new soon.

just don't ask me if i'm ok, because if you read, you should know.
& just pardon me if i decide to not reply anything as soon as you might like.