Thursday, April 18, 2013

quarter life crisis?

So I decided to fulfill (my english has deteriorated from too much auto correct that in this sentence itself i had two mis-spellings of  of fulfill and deteriorated. oh boy. All this quick english and social media will make my english teacher in primary and secondary and newswriting prof in uni flip. Must take note before I become one of those yuppies with really bad english ( or so the adults like to think)) what i written in my previous blogpost today as a start - to write more. :)

In between the first paragraph and second my comp decided to do an impromptu shut down but chrome was able to restore it....hoorah!:D (wait a minute, i know what you are thinking. I am still a firefox fan, but the browser has some problem on my home i'm using chrome here. Firefox you know i still love you. ;P)
found this cute firefox vs chrome pic from mr google. 

Ok, so after much digressing in the first paragraph I would really want to go back to HELLO Quarter Life Crisis! Does it even exist?! I believe it's really much something people make up along the way. 

"Hey there's mid life crisis. The younger generation need one too ok - we need a label, term or something to express our difficulties at this stage." And thus i guess that was how quarter life crisis came about. I did a quick google and here you go! What is coined as quarter life crisis is:

I guess this is pretty true, at every point in life when we make transitions it is a scary one. Kindergarten to Primary to Secondary to Pre U to Uni to Work to Marriage to having Kids. For some it is more smooth flowing, for some we have to stumble along the way to understand what is to make out of each stage and path of our life during that period. Rather than say it changes us, i would put it as it molds us. 

I recently just turned 25 in March. Ah great, announce to the world how old i am, smart move. smart move. -.- but then again as a friend who pointed out to me that not many people would put their birth year on fb so brazenly for everyone to know their age, i flatly replied, and that is my age, i am that old, so be it. 

haha. I never really realise how old it is to be 25 years old, for starters, I thought 24 years old last year was pretty close 18-19 year old age....boy was i horrified to do the math and realise it was a good 7-8years. *oh god help me. i'm living in oblivion* 

I guess me being so slow to realise is pretty much in line with my character and whole life. I am never one of those witty smart ass kid who thinks and reacts quick on their feet. In fact i mostly feel that i belong to the 慢半拍group. Studies wise showed pretty clearly, but i was a hardworking kid ok. 有一点笨笨有一点傻傻的but老天爱笨小孩 right? Must be lah. haha. 

Physiologically and psychologically i also mature a little slower. I learn and want things differently. My body also reacts more slowly. At the age where everyone was having adolescence "pimples" I was having non of that. At poly most people clear up and start soaring like swans. Me? I flared with pimples after poly years somewhere beginning of my Uni days. (Those were some dark days. Funny to say now, but #Truestory. Bad skin is no joke) At the age where most girls are very into brands, makeup and dressing prettily I took in non of that even when all my housemates were busy shopping in the outlets I was happy getting minimal stuff. 

I think mentally I have finally reached their state of mind then (2 years ago) so if i were to go back in time to the time when i were in the states I would be able to appreciate alot more things. That being said, no i am still not all girly girl. I still like being cool, and handsome appropriately sometimes, not all days feel like girly days. lol

Filed my taxes for the first time this year, paying for my own insurance and those card bills of my buys i am owning responsibility of myself. Partly, minimally, because after all one is living under the same roof with my parents which i'm grateful for. With my keep, i probably am not able to feed myself and have a sturdy roof over my head.yet. (property prices, can you go down or not?). I do take everyday alot for granted seemingly, but i am very thankful actually. :)

I guess my transition of quarter life crisis comes in the form of seeing every other friend around me getting married with plans of the future. For me now as much as I try to see, it seems pretty hazy, pretty foggy. I want to step into the next transition of life, i want to provide as much as i can for my parents cause they are growing older, i need to learn to be a pillar and not just a bamboo stick to row the boat. And as per how i've done it my whole life, I'll take it a step at a time, I won't rush into anything just because I'm drowning, and i need a life buoy, for if i ever do that it would be most selfish to not only whomever but myself. That being said, sometimes I wonder if i shouldn't be so rational. And be selfish, cause someone once asked me, isn't it easier to just take care of yourself and disregard the consequences? But i do, if i selfishly do stupid stuff for stupid reasons and then feel bad about it. wouldn't that be more self harming?

O well, I've pretty much gone through life in this manner of slow and steady, (never 100% sure cause who knows what tomorrow brings. but when i decide to venture out, i'll put my best into it. never failed) i'll get there. :) I can't fail myself, nor my parents at least. and yesh. i still believe i am that hardworking kid who works for my future, boring and uncool to say, but at least i can say I try to make the best choices my future. :) act yi ge hardworking only. lol

So 神啊, 再一次帮一帮, 这个糊里糊涂的以25的小妹妹。 不老但也不小了。 哈哈。its time to find that someone to melt the black frozen ice block, with my rationality, fear? and stubborness. I doubt the higher powers can help me...but still. somehow? one will never know. If not, i can always travel around the world in my own independence. :D 

there. i decided not to end it on a gloomy note. 
 pic from

And so i always secretly somehow hope, as slow as i am in blooming, it does not turn out to be a bad thing in life. it will be as Fa Zhou Mulan's father put's it...
"the most beautiful of all"

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