Monday, July 9, 2012

the questions we dread...

At every stage and point in my life there would be a few questions that I would dread....of course every other day people would have questions they dislike or feel peeved about...I have those too...and also i have questions i dread and would like to just take my chance to skip it and run away if i have the chance to.

It's very easy to see when I feel uneasy with a face would give everything away. I would like to act all normal, but i bet my face, tone and actions would chance spontaneously...

Just a few years back I remember dreading people asking me about getting a job..though I knew very well, i was getting there or would definitely get there if i tried hard enough it just feels like a blow everytime someone asked you was fine at first and slowly you just want to say stop man. i'll let you know when i'm there....
but luckily i have a job i'm happy with at the moment...and if people knew me they would know that it was something i have been aimng to get in since poly lucky me! yes, i think i kinda pestered my way in too...but...yea..its a mixture of both...hehe..

I remember another embarrassing everyday question that i almost really hated and really dread when i was much younger....
guess what...
I couldn't tell you what the 12 months was... i would miss a month or two..I could recite all the way till somewhere around july or august correctly...and end with november and december correctly and in was mostly a hit and miss....

I only managed to confidently got it right when I was in Sec 4 i think?Wow. that bad huh! haha...but i can get it right now!!! :D hahahaha...nothing to be exactly proud about, but hey. At least i got it now! :P

And on friday i was asked a very awkward question by my manager...
She asked, "hey why doesn't have Sarah have any boyfriends ah?"
(there were 3 of us it was kinda asking all 3 of us at the same time i guess,but more directed to me?)
and then it continued.
"Do boys hate you? or Do you hate boys?"
O boy. here we go again. I mildly suspect that she suspects that I'm not straight? well actually, it's not the first time, and I don't really blame them actually. A gang of my poly mates met me beginning of the year and in a beat around the bush manner asked me if i had a girl friend....only because my fb dp was with my favourite coussie Foong who has really short hair....T-T

There. this was the picture. 

To avoid getting more speculations from god knows who i changed the dp to a new one....
even my bro at one period of time asked me if i had a boyfriend and I said no and then he asked if i have a girlfriend. wtf?(this was quite a few years back) i think now he just thinks i'm a loser which no one wants and will get left behind on the shelve. 

i don't really mind or care really. 

but nowadays it gets harder to ignore because everyone just keeps reminding you! 
I actually like my life and i'm really not the kind of person who will just do what everyone does just because everyone is doing it. 
Everyone says go look for a boyfriend. 
erm. excuse me?
Do i just go "look" for one in a shopping centre or approach one on the road and say hey you there! let's just date and be my boyfriend ya?

You can say i'm stubborn, but if I don't feel comfortable or can't feel or see or if my irrational point of view doesn't just tell me to go with it..I really do not want to waste anybody's time

On it's own i don't feel i have enough time for everybody and myself, I wouldn't want to make trouble out of nothing just because....
that being said...i love making friends and of course I'm not going to be a nun...

if someone comes along the way i'll definitely go yay:)

who know's maybe i'll be like Cheesie? haha...

and yesh. i do not hate boys. 
i have alot of gay and lesbian friends and am totally fine with that culture, but i'm quite sure I would like my date with my kind of Wes , Nicky or  Ashin one day..



I'm really bad with making decisions so if i can i try to avoid it...
and one thing about me, if i decide to take in anything, people or things I treat it as my baby and am very protective of it's hard for me to decide which is "better?"

yesh. that's why i don't settle down easily i guess too?
because if i decide on something, i am determined to make it work so i really take some time and effort to let myself discover....i'm not looking for the 'best' because i have no idea what is the best...but the best kind of person to click with me, i think that would be awesome. 

you know how everyone likes to say, if you got a problem, i'll be there for you?
how many people actually really mean it and after that how many can actually really do it...
sometimes we know people mean it..but they can't execute it...not on purpose of course..
(i bet some of you are saying, a boyfriend would solve that problem!zzz. thanks ah. till i get one..)

I wanted to talk to someone about it (the decision making, not the boy problem. lols) this weekend...but i couldn't find anyone. 

wah piang. sound like yi ge sad. 

when people need me I try to be i'm not saying i'm nice..just i would like to feel likewise too..of course i fallback for some too...
but when I stretch out my hand which is not very often and to not many people i realise no one was there to take it. 

but then again. it's no one fault. 

i wrote this in mind that it was supposed to be funny, 
but i have no idea..whey it became all sappy in the end...

i shall end it with a happier picture. 
yesh. see. this is my dream double date happening. 

hi Wes! :)) hi Phil! hi Ann nee! :D

Have a good week ahead!

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